We live across the street from a public elementary school. The were doing their annual carnival today, and Monkey was SO excited about the "party" going on. She watched the tents go up, the bounce house getting blown up, and the firetruck pull up. She couldn't wait to go across the street, but we had to wait for Froggy to wake up and eat her lunch.
While Froggy was napping, I took Monkey outside to play. At one point they stopped the festivities across the street for their official kick-off with the Star Spangled Banner. I made Monkey come stand in front of me and put her hand on her heart. She thought this was fun for the first few measures of the song, but then wanted to play again. I made her continue to stand there. At one point she started getting really fussy about it, and I told her, "Mommy's not punishing you, she's teaching you. This is a special song, and we need to stand still and listen." So, in the end, I wasn't too respectful because I spent most of the time correcting my child. But she'll learn. :) She's also been potty training the last few days, so about every five minutes while we were out there, she told me she had to go potty, but she didn't want to come inside. She finally did come in and go. She's doing SO well with it. I've been very impressed with her!
Well, Froggy finally woke up and ate. So, with Monkey on her monkey leash, and Froggy in the Moby, we headed across the street. We went straight to the firetruck. Monkey climbed up in the firetruck and just stood there. She didn't know what to do, but she didn't want back down either. While standing there, I mentioned that we live just across the street and that she'd been watching their truck all morning. The youngest fireman asked which house I lived in, and then said that he'd had a call at that house about a year ago. He even remembered that I had been pregnant with Froggy at the time. Here's what happened as best as I can remember:
Around 8:00 one night, Monkey wanted to go outside to watch Daddy fix the car, so I went out with her to keep her from being too helpful. I was only outside for a few minutes before I realized I was getting bit on my feet. I looked down to find an ant crawling all over my foot...the same foot that was swollen last weekend from and bites. Well, this time, I was bit multiple times on both feet. Tired of being eaten alive, I left Farm Boy to fend for himself against the car, and against Monkey.
Around 8:15, I brought Monkey in, changed her, nursed her, and put her to bed. By the time I finished feeding her, my entire body itched and I had hives everywhere. I took some children's Benedryl and didn't feel any better. Unable to reach my doctor through the emergency line, I called my neighbor who is an RN and who also has multiple allergies herself. By that time, by breathing was becoming very restricted as well. She told us to call 911 if I was having difficulty breathing.
So, around 8:45 we called 911. The volunteer EMTs arrived first and put me on oxygen. The ambulance was coming from about twenty minutes away, so we waited a while for them to arrive. By the time they arrived, I was beginning to lose consciousness. After they hooked me up to some wires, they finally got me to the ambulance, hooked me up to an IV, and gave me an epi shot. By 9:30 we were pulling away from my house. At this point, I decided I am not a fan of GPS systems. Rather than taking the interstate, we took an extremely long route, and hit every red light on the way. We arrived to the ER just after 10:00.
During this whole time, I was also having contractions. (I guess I should mention here that I was 4 1/2 months pregnant with Froggy.) So, after switching from the ambulance equipment to the hospital equipment, we got a nurse from Labor and Delivery to check the baby's heart rate, and all was well. By 12:45 I was discharged from the hospital.
Many times since that night I've wished I could thank the people who saved my life. I remember thanking the EMT on the ambulance, but by that point I was stabilized. I had another opportunity one day when the volunteer department called asking for donations. Sadly, because of the ridiculous charges for the ambulance and ER visit, I had not money to donate to the ones who actually saved my life. It was an amazing thing to me to meet today one of the first responders from that night. I was so overwhelmed that I didn't know what to say. And then all I could say was thank you. I felt like an idiot. Standing before me was a man who had helped save my life, and all I could think to say was thank you. It seemed so inadequate. But what else could I say? It made me want to come home and bake him a whole batch of cookies! As we were walking away, I told Monkey that that man had saved Mommy's life. I never saw the faces of any of the responders that night except for the lady EMT on the ambulance. Today I was able to put a face to one of my many unseen heroes. And I want to say, "Thank you."

Dairy Denied

Well, as I think I've mentioned before, Monkey has multiple food allergies. We took her to the rheumatologist to have blood work done to see if her sensitivities have changed. We were excited to learn that the numbers were lower for dairy! So he instructed us on how to conduct a food challenge at home. Well, she passed the initial test--no severe, life-threatening reaction. However, she still broke out in a rash on her chest and back, as well as blistering in her diaper area. So we waited two weeks and tried again this weekend. Again, the same reaction. So the decision now is left up to us. If we feel it's worth the rash, we may feed her dairy. We've pretty much adjusted to a dairy-free diet anyway, so we're going to keep her mainly dairy-free. As this is still considered an allergy, we are still marking noting that she is allergic to dairy. I'd rather be around any time she has it just in case the allergy should get worse, which is always a possibility.
Her count was also lower on egg, but still high enough that the doctor wants to do that food challenge in the office. Honestly, living without eggs has only been a problem in the area of mayonnaise. I love mayo, but other than that, we're not big on eggs anyway. So, I'm setting that one aside just because I don't feel like paying for another doctor appointment--especially one that may cause her to have an allergic reaction to something.
So there is some good in this, I don't have to freak out if she gets hold of dairy. But I still can't go back to using cream of mushroom soup, sour cream, or cream cheese in everything. :)

Off the Cuff - Tragedy in the Name of Discipline

This is tragic. I was just talking with my husband last evening about finding the balance in disciplining our girls. I know people who pride themselves on the fact that their children are literally afraid when they hear the word, "No." I'm not sure if they use the Pearl's methods or another method. But I remember thinking when I heard that, that such a fear could be hard on a child. I'm faulted for attributing adult emotions on a child. But really, I just think, "How would I feel if I were treated such a way?" Then I respond to those feelings when dealing with my children. Perhaps this is not the best method. But I know what it is to fear improper forms of discipline. I don't want my child to fear me. I may be too forgiving of my child. But I'd rather not discipline than discipline incorrectly. She's a good girl, and knows what it means to obey. So I've justified in my mind that I've still accomplished the goal, just by a different means. I don't whip my child, but I do spank her. There is no need to whip a child for something so simple as mispronouncing a word. That's not even cause for a spanking or harsh verbal correction. The child will learn. How sad it is that the children under the Pearl's method of training are well behaved, not because they respect the people around them, but because they fear being beaten for their behavior.

an open letter to my brothers and sisters in Christ who serve in leadership to homeschooling families:

March 1st, 2010

An open letter to my brothers and sisters in Christ who serve in leadership to homeschooling families:

On February 6, 2010, Lydia Schatz, the seven year old homeschooled daughter of Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz, died after having been brutally beaten for mispronouncing a word while reading out loud to her mother. Butte County, California District Attorney, Mike Ramsey, reported that evidence shows the child was severely and repeatedly whipped, most likely for several hours, with a 15” piece of ¼” plumbing supply line, the same instrument that also left her older sister with severe kidney damage and in critical condition. The other seven Schatz children are now in foster homes, their parents having been charged with torture and murder.

While it might be comforting to believe that this is one horrific, isolated case of abusive behavior, the fact is that Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were Bible-believing Christians who welcomed not only their own children into their home but three adopted ones as well. Their friends reported how shocked they were to hear this story about parents whom they called “loving” and “warm” and children who were “polite and well-behaved,” words that could describe most homeschooling families.

But Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were also devotees of the book To Train Up A Child and its authors, Michael and Debi Pearl, and they patterned their “discipline” methods after the Pearls’ instructions, down to the very instrument they used to beat their children.

This is not the first time a child has died at the hands of parents who embraced the teachings from TTUAC. In 2004, four year old Sean Paddock suffocated after his mother also beat him with ¼” plumbing supply line and then wrapped him tightly in a blanket to keep him from getting out of bed. She is now serving time in jail for first degree murder.

The killing of precious children in the name of “discipline” must stop and those of us who desire to come alongside and encourage homeschooling families must do all that we can to see that this sort of tragedy never happens again. I believe that the Pearls’ teachings on chastisement unto repentance, found in their books and magazines and on their website, is not just one among many approaches to disciplining children, but rather, is a form of child abuse and even one that is considered to be assault and battery of a child and punishable by law in many states.

As Christians, it is even more important to understand that the Pearls’ philosophy is based on the aberrant theology of “sinless perfection,” a perspective that leads to the notion that parents are able to change a child’s sinful heart and save a child’s soul. Here are some excerpts from TTUAC:

“The parent holds in his hand (in the form of a little switch) the power to absolve the child of guilt, cleanse his soul, instruct his spirit, strengthen his resolve, and give him a fresh start through a confidence that all indebtedness is paid.”

“The guilt burdened soul cries out for the lashes and nails of justice. Your child cannot yet understand that the Creator has been lashed and nailed in his place. Only the rod of correction can preserve his soul until the day of moral dawning.”

“Let the guilt come, and then, while they are yet too young to understand, absolve it by means of the rod. When their time comes, the principles of the cross will be easy to grasp.”

The Holy Word of God tells us that only by faith in the finished, atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross, an act of His mercy and grace, is a person saved. (“Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost.”~Titus 3:5) Physical chastisement by a parent cannot truly absolve a child of guilt nor can it cleanse his soul. To teach this and to lead any parent to think otherwise is promoting false doctrine and false hope in the works of man.

To that end, I would like to ask those who serve as homeschooling support group leaders and others who seek to serve within the homeschooling community to join the growing number of voices who are expressing their outrage and horror at the death of little Lydia Schatz and I would ask you to remove any recommendation of Michael and Debi Pearl’s teachings you have on your blogs or websites. Please stand with me and publicly say “This is wrong and it must stop.”

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” ~ Proverbs 31:8-9

By His grace,
Karen Campbell,
homeschooling mother and grandmother
www.thatmom.com

Catching up

Well, it's been a few days...and very long days at that! I've discovered that I've switched from thinking in Facebook-status lines to thinking in blog. Translation? It use to be when something would happen I thought, "I need to put that on my status." Now when something is on my mind I start thinking it out in paragraph form so I can blog about it!
Last night I went out for church volleyball. We didn't realize how late of a night it would be, so my husband and kids went with me. Poor babies...we didn't get done until 10pm. And my toddler didn't sleep in this morning. I had a good time--I could live and breathe volleyball. But I struggled with the feeling that I was being a bad mom. I take pride in the fact that I'm a mom first and everything else, including my social life, comes second. And last night I kept my kids up so that I could have a little bit of fun. The baby slept in her Moby, but the toddler just kept running around. She won't sleep if something is going on. In the future we'll know what time I'm playing, and the kids won't go if it's going to be a late night. I know it's suppose to be a church family league, but it doesn't seem to be designed for people with kids in mind. The games run pretty late at night.
Today we took my toddler for a checkup with the allergy specialist. They wanted to draw blood to see if her sensitivities have changed. Poor baby. They took three tubes of blood from her little arm. But she was brave and did very well. (Better than some adults I know.) So she got some dairy-free chocolate chips as a special treat. The doctor is anticipating her sensitivity to milk being lower, so we may be able to try adding some dairy to her diet in the near future! I got SO excited! That would mean being able to cook with sour cream, cream of mushroom soup, cream cheese, cheese, etc! We'll get the results in a few weeks.
Then I got to spend the whole day with my best friend and her two kids (who are the same ages as my kids). She live about eight hours away, but is in town for the week. So nice to be able to visit.
Now to bed. I'm SO tired, but just had to post something!

What if?

When my first daughter was born, I hadn't had my driver's license for very long. My husband was always commenting that my driving wasn't very comfortable for my passenger(s). We also live in a city of wreckless and scary drivers (seriously, the DMV doesn't even do an actual road test because they don't want to get in a car with these drivers!). So I was afraid to drive once my daughter was born. I was scared of giving her whip-lash in her car seat, but most of all I was terrified to have an accident with my baby in the car.

I eventually became more relaxed about this. As a SAHM it would have been silly to keep myself locked in the house all day until my husband came home. I accepted the fact that I was probably not the first mother to have this concern, and that all of those women swallowed their fears and put the baby in the car. Well, less than a year ago I was rear ended while sitting still. My daughter was in the back seat, and she started screaming. I jumped from the car and pulled her out of her seat to check her for injuries. She calmed within moments of me picking her up, so I believe she was just frightened...and so was I. I was shaking so badly that I could dial my husband's number correctly. And when his cell phone was dead (ahhh!!), I sounded like a crazy woman to the poor man who answered the switch board at my husband's company.

Well, with little personal injury (and plenty of car injury) I got back into the car and had to pep-talk myself into pulling back into traffic. For weeks after that I felt like I was shaking every time I got behind the wheel of the car. But soon I was relaxed and comfortable again.

Recently my mind has been taunting me with horrific images of accidents and possible results of an accident. As I mentioned earlier, drivers around here are lunatics. So when I see an accident almost happen my mind runs 100 miles/minute with "what ifs." What if that car had hit that guy and is spun into our car and....I get so distracted trying to figure out what I would do if we got into an accident. What if I were trapped and couldn't get my girls out? What if the girls were trapped? Which one would I get out first? How could I make such a choice? What if I couldn't help them? What if I died and my girls were left without a mother? And on, and on it goes.

I know that I need to place my fears in the Father's hands, as He is the One who controls whether we even get into an accident at all. But I struggle. I want to be in control. I need to have a plan for every possible scenario. I'm so arrogant to think that God wouldn't be able to handle it. I know these things, but still my mind starts running.

Wordless Wednesday

Obviously a bad day. I need a Boba!
(Yes, I'm supporting the toddler's weight.)

Toddler Tuesday

Many of my posts may be about my children. But I've decided to dedicate Tuesdays to my toddler. Toddlers are so fun to observe--her logic and reasoning can be quite comical. So on Tuesdays I will try to share some of the special moments, fun conversations, or just plain silly things that my daughter is doing.

One thing that sticks out to me from this past week is her speech development. She talks more and more everyday. She's starting to use sentences more, and sometimes it is very funny what comes out. Today she came running from the kitchen yelling because something had scared her. I asked her to show me what it was. She took me to her play kitchen, which is set up in the corner of our kitchen/dining room area. Then she just stood there, still trembling from whatever had frightened her. I asked her what had scared her. Here is the conversation that followed (with some translation and explanation!).

"Cat outside window."
"Is the cat outside"
"Ummm. Stool?"
"Where is your stool?"
"Lights, on. Stool?"
"No, the lights are on, you don't need your stool."
"Scared. Cat? See? Stool?"
*Here I opened the blinds so she could see if the stray cat was in the yard.*
"Oohhhh, I sorry. Kitchen?" *turning back to the play kitchen. the "oh" is sung*
"Spider."
"Did you see a spider?" *I'm still trying to figure out what startled her.*
"Yes. Spider."
"Where?"
"Ummmm. Floor. See? Spider. Trash?"
*She pointed to a broken piece of cracker on the floor. I did not see any bug of any kind, although I had wondered if this is what frightened her. Yesterday I killed an ant and threw it in the trash. Hence the reason she connected the spider to the trash.*
"No, Mommy doesn't see a spider. Everything is okay."
"Oohhhh. Sorry, spider. All done. Truck?"
*Here she went to the front window to look for the trash truck.*

It's not quite as fun as hearing her little sing-song voice and watching her eyes roam around the room looking for her next train of thought. But I just thought I would share some of these moments with you. :)