My Breastfeeding Journey

I keep promising myself I'll do a better job keeping up with this blog, but then I get carried away with life, and before I realize it weeks or even months have passed.

About this time four years ago I was quickly approaching my due date with my first child. I had researched and studied, and was eagerly anticipating a completely unmedicated, natural birth. And I had resigned myself to breastfeeding. Resigned? Yes, resigned. I knew that breastfeeding was the best thing for my child, and I was all about doing what was natural and best for my baby. God had desinged our bodies for child birth and for nurturing them afterwards. Not to mention there was no way on earth we could possibly afford formula. But these were my reasons for breastfeeding. In my mind breastfeeding seemed gross to me. The thought of exposing myself--even if it were just around myself--and then putting a mouth up to my breast and having that baby sucking off of me just seemed...perverted, somehow in my mind.

However, the moment my daughter was born, before the cord had even been clamped, I asked, "When can I nurse her?" In that moment of childbirth, during that beautiful transition into the real world of motherhood, all of my prior notions and discomforts vanished. My God-given maternal instinct took over and my greatest desire was to nurture my baby.

From the moment of her first latch--and that beautiful bond formed between mother and baby--I have been a major advocate of breastfeeding. I look back on my earlier thoughts and laugh at myself. I nursed that babe until she weened herself just after 18 months. Six weeks later her baby sister was born, and I nursed her for nearly two years until she weaned herself shortly before her baby brother. Now my youngest girl still asks to nurse, and though I would love to tandem nurse her, and had planned to, I just don't have the energy to. I have allowed her to nurse a few times, and it was a sweet time for us. Telling her no has brought me to tears, but trying to nurse two was very draining. But we'd have to double our grocery budget for me to eat enough to keep up with nursing two!

I love breastfeeding! I love the sweet moments of being one-on-one with my baby. I love the bond that is formed as a result of that time. I love the continuation of the nurturing that I provided for that sweet babe in the womb. I love knowing that I am helping my baby develop a healthy and strong immune system. I enjoy hearing comments like, "What are feeding that baby?" And I take pride in knowing that my baby is healthy and growing well as a result of my decision to breastfeed.

Now I want to pursue, along with a doula certification, becoming a lactation consultant and volunteering time to help other women understand the benefits of breastfeeding and to help them be successful. A far cry from resigning myself to the task!

A New Pet In My Pocket - Michael's Birth Story

God has once again blessed our family with a new little pet in my pocket. I think every birth story is beautiful and full of excitement, and of course ours would be no different. But this time God threw in a few extra bits of excitement to remind us to count our blessings.

I had been having contractions for weeks, but had been assured that because this was my third kid this was normal (by the way, someone needs to write a pregnancy book for women on their third+ kid, because everything that's normal signs of concern with your first two pregnancies are considered normal happenings after the first two). I also learned with my second child that my body does not feel contractions the same way they are described in books or by most care providers. While being monitored, my contractions may be reading off the charts, and I'm not even really aware of them, or they feel so insignificant that I ignore them.

On Sunday, December 11, around 3pm I noticed that the contractions I was having seemed to be a bit more consistent. So I tried to focus on them so that my husband could time them--this was a first for us. (We'd never had the opportunity or need to time contractions with our first two.) They started out at seven minutes apart, and 1 1/2 later when we were ready to leave for church they were 3 1/2 minutes apart. So we decided to skip church and go to the hospital in stead. As soon as we got in the car, they slowed back down to 7 minutes. We still went to the hospital and spent a few hours being monitored. My midwife checked me, and I hadn't progressed from when I'd been checked two weeks prior, so I decided to just go home and wait it out. By the time we went to bed, I was actually feeling pains that I could associate with labor, but they stopped just after midnight.

Monday was a long day as both my husband and I had anticipated being back to the hospital to have a baby by mid-morning at the latest. But as it was, my contractions didn't even start again til mid-morning, and there was no consistency to them. By the time my husband got home from work they had regained a consistent pattern, and if I had to rate them on a pain scale, I would have given them a one. So, I put together my shopping list and we headed to Publix. I can't say I was completely comfortable throughout our shopping trip, and I knew I was technically in labor, but I wasn't miserable either. We got home close to 9, settled the girls into bed, and around 10 when we headed to bed I told my husband that I might be pushing a three on the pain scale.

At 12:40 Tuesday morning I woke for my routine potty break and realized that I was still having contractions. I climbed back into bed and watched the clock, then I realized they were starting to hurt. I laid there and debated whether or not I should get up or just see if I could ride it out til morning. I also prayed that God would let me know when it was time to go to the hospital, but planned to wait til my water broke. At 1:00 I noticed an intense difference in the contractions--and that they were only two minutes apart! I woke my husband and told him I was in transition. He moves pretty quick in the middle of the night! We called our neighbor to come sit on the couch and headed to the hospital. I called the hospital as we pulled out of our drive and told them we were on the way--my phone said 1:31 a.m. I remember glancing at the clock at some point on the way to the hospital, and it said 1:44. I don't know what time we arrived, but we walked up to labor and delivery. For the most part I was still walking and talking through contractions, and only had to pause three times to wait them out.

They had a room open for me and I walked straight in, grabbed the cup, and went to sit on the potty. As I went potty, my wonderful husband got the room readied my way. Not a single hospital light was on. Just my lamps. And he got me in the skirt I had had made myself for labor/recovery. Just as I finished leaving my sample in the cup, my water broke. With the next contraction I hit that moment that every woman in natural labor hits, and I told my husband, "I don't want to do this." I walked out of the bathroom and into the room, asked for the birth ball, and didn't make it any further. I hit my hands an knees, eagerly waiting for the birth ball to rest my upper body on. During this time a nurse was begging me to get into bed so she could check me, and I remember my husband telling her that wasn't necessary. She then asked if they could monitor me, and I told her no. I couldn't move. She wanted to get the baby's heartbeat, and I told her if she could get it without me moving, then go for. This is all happening in just a matter of moments. For the first time ever, I yelled in labor. It was more of a very loud moan, but either way, I was mentally berating myself because I knew that yelling wasn't going to help anything.

After what seemed like forever of a nurse trying to talk me into the bed, I realized I hadn't been saying any of what I was thinking out loud. Finally I managed to get out, "He's crowning, y'all." Well, that definitely changed the atmosphere. A very experienced nurse had already been summoned when the one nurse couldn't get me to cooperate. She came around the bed and said, "She's right, he is crowning." She then kept begging me to get up on the bed because she couldn't get to the baby. I didn't understand the problem. I had delivered my last child on my hands and knees and knew it could be done. I was mentally begging my midwife to walk through the door. (My husband told me later that I wasn't up on my hands and knees as I thought I was, but was actually resting my bottom on my heels, hence the reason she could not deliver me.) Suddenly the nurse called for the birth stool, it was there in a flash, and my husband lifted me off of the floor and sat me up on the birth stool. Another first happened for me then--everything stopped. Not for long, but for several moments there were no contractions, and time seemed to stand still. I'd never had that kind of break in my labors before. I'd heard of them, but never experienced it for myself. I remember questioning why everything stopped. Then the next contraction hit and at 2:04 a.m. my baby boy delivered!

During delivery, the nurse mentioned something about meconium, but I don't think he actually ingested any because he had no complications. His cord was also tight around his neck, and he wasn't breathing. Kudos to my husband who knew not to be alarmed because the cord was still attached, so he knew the baby would be fine. As soon as I started talking to the baby, he started turning his head. They clamped the cord when it stopped pulsating and took him to the heated crib. He then started crying. He was very bruised and swollen due to the very quick delivery. Due to the concern of meconium, it was a few minutes before I got to hold my baby. During that time I climbed into the bed. My midwife walked in a few minutes later, and I teased her about being late. She can be rather crabby at 2 in the morning. :)

I had studied and researched doing a hypnobirth and was really excited to implement some of what I had learned. I never had time to try to focus on relaxation. One thing however that I definitely knew I wanted to do this time was not push. I wanted to breathe my baby down. Well, I didn't actually concentrate on breathing my baby down, but neither did I push. My body did what God designed it to do, and naturally pushed my baby out.

So, thirty minutes after leaving my home that is twenty-plus minutes from the hospital, I delivered my son!Michael Joel ~ 9lb 6.7oz ~ 22in

I know this story may be a bit too wordy, but I've written it in bits and pieces as I've had time. There are probably facts I'm missing, but I think I have all of the important stuff that I want to remember. I doubt I'll ever forget most of the details.

Lucretia, the wonderful nurse who delivered Michael.
She wasn't too fond of having her picture taken.
She's been a L&D nurse for 31 years!

Relaxing Education

My daughter will soon be 3 1/2 years old, and has been talking about going to school for about a year. This is in part because most of her church friends are in school (daycare), in part because school is mentioned in stories and tv programs, and probably majorly in part due to the fact that we live across the street from a public elementary school. Every day of the school year for as long as she can remember she has watched school buses coming and going, heard children playing on the playground, and watched children arrive and leaving carrying backpacks and lunchboxes. To her, school is something very exciting!

She has been begging to do schoolwork, especially since she figured out that a young friend (and girl she adores) is doing schoolwork at home. So, even though I hadn't planned to start schooling her for a few more years, I've decided it will be a nice way to put some routine in our days and keep her from begging so much. :)

I take a more relaxed approach to schoolwork, especially at this age. I don't see a need to make a young child sit still in a seat for extended periods of time or to frustrate them with schoolwork when in my mind, they're really still too young to be in school. I believe that children should be permitted to enjoy their childhood--afterall, they only get it once. Children are not adults, and should not be forced to behave as adults. Not many adults handle sitting still very well for extended periods of time, so why on earth should I expect as much from a child with an attention span of maybe 10 minutes?

So what have we done for schoolwork? Simple things that really aren't too much different from what we would do on a normal, everyday basis, but now we call it schoolwork. Both kids work on the same or similar things to keep the peace. They both enjoy doing whatever the other one is doing, and to give one child a different project than the other causes both to become distracted.

I recently printed some play-doh mats, and my 3 year old and 18 month old love them! Really, what kid doesn't enjoy play-doh? And while play-doh is great for stretching a child's imagination and creativity, why not make it an educational tool as well?
My 3 year old loved the challenge of making the "squiggly lines" for the 2 and 3, and preferred to make pancakes rather than balls to stick on the dots.
My 18 month old enjoyed putting play-doh on the dots, and of course took a few taste test of the play-doh.

Another fun thing we've done is finger painting. We were blessed to be able to get a roll of paper for free, and the girls had gotten smocks as Christmas gifts. Last week I purchased paints with the back to school sales going on (because my attempt at making finger paint failed--but I'll try again some time).Unfortunately, I didn't notice that the finger paints were not primary colors, so I haven't been able to teach what colors come from mixing primaries. But we've still played with mixing the colors to see what we come up with, and my daughter finds this exciting. Our plan is for my husband to build an easel for the girls as a Christmas gift, and then we will be able to be a little more comfortable (and perhaps less messy) while painting.


While the girls do these and other activities, I read them their Bible lesson and we review their Bible verses. We also will sing our songs we are learning that week. We learn one hymn and one fun song each week, along with one new Bible verse. It was frustrating myself and my girls to try to make them sit still while doing lessons that required sitting still, so through Money Saving Mom I learned that it's actually more beneficial to give them an activity to do while reading to them. My oldest is still listening, can still answer questions about the story or re-tell the story, even though she had something keeping her hands busy while I read to her. In this case, having a distraction was actually more benficial. When I'm trying to make her sit still she finds distractions that keep her from hearing the story, plus the story is constantly interrupted with, "Sit still." If they have busy work, I really don't have to say anything to them, so the story is read uninterrupted.

Today we enjoyed some amazingly beautiful weather for this time of year, and spent nearly two hours outside! We haven't spent that much time outside since April or May, I don't think! While they played on the playground we sang hymns and some other songs and said our Bible verses. Then I restricted them to the front porch area, and we read our Bible story.

While on the playground we experimented with different textures in the sand. We started with our shoe prints, then used sticks and other objects we found around the sand area to see how they imprinted the sand. My daughter loved making tracks by rolling the pine cone along the sand.

Indoors today we practiced counting from 1-20 for about a half-hour while playing hide-and-seek. We stopped several times to sit down and count 1-20 without hiding to help my daughter remember that there were numbers between 17 and 20. :) Then while I did my exercises, the girls played with legos. They first separated the squares from the rectangles. Then they had to make a tower with a pattern of red-yellow-red-yellow. Then the made a row with a pattern of blue-green-blue-green.

It is my philosophy that children learn most of what they will retain from simple, everyday living. We don't typically sit down and practice numbers or number recognition--or colors, or shapes. From the day I started reading to my children (which was a very early age), I have pointed things out in their story books. We count all of the objects on the page. We point out the different colors on the page. When playing with blocks, we name the shapes as we move them around on the floor or stack with them. When playing with legos, we say the colors as we handle the legos, not just build with them. Every moment and every encounter with a child is a learning experience. They can enjoy their childhood and still learn the basic, educational materials they would be learning in a classroom at a school.

Count Your Blessings - Winter Clothing

Locally we have an area wide consignment sale that is HUGE. I did a post on this sale several months ago. We're now looking forward to the second sale for this year. As I mentioned before, our family survives off of this sale. This sale is how the Lord has provided the clothing needs of our family as well as the toys and other accessories that we've needed.

Well, this season, we really can't even afford to benefit from this sale. With baby number three on the way and still not even half-way paid for, we don't have the extra funds to put into making purchases at this sale, even if they are necessities.

We've been struggling not to be discouraged about our financial situation, and have been trying to focus on keeping our faith and trust in God to provide for us as He has promised. We chose to trust Him for our children and when we would have them. Now we are reminding ourselves that God has chosen to add this new little blessing to our home, and when and how He sees fit, He will provide for our financial needs with this baby. We fail to not focus on, "I don't know where we're going to get that money from."

One huge blessing God has poured into our lives in the last twenty-four hours as a reminder of His faithfulness to care for us is regarding our concern about how we would have things to get the girls through the winter if we couldn't afford to spend money at the local consignment sale. I grew up on hand-me-downs, but it doesn't seem that people within our circle do hand-me-downs. We've never received any for our kids. But as I said, God has provided in other ways, and we've been fine.

Yesterday I pulled out what I thought was the only bin of winter clothes from the girls for last year and went through to inventory what we had and to see what we would need for this coming winter. The girls enjoyed playing dress up as we tried things on to see what fit and what didn't. Thankfully my three-year-old hasn't grown much since last winter, and everything was really baggy on her last winter. Some of the clothes are still baggy on her at this point, and I'm prayerful that they will get us through the short period of cold weather that we enjoy here. Sadly, there was almost nothing for my eighteen-month-old. She had been such a chunky baby last winter that I tagged and attempted to sell most of the things that would now fit her for this winter, because I thought she would be long past that size by the time this winter rolled around. Well, as it is, she really hasn't grown as much as I'd anticipated.

Discouraged, I inventoried what I had for her. My husband and I discussed last night what I would absolutely need for that one and the new baby (which at that point, I hadn't pulled out the bucket of newborn clothes), and we determined that even spending bare minimum, we'd be stretching the funds too far. I half-heartedly prayed about it while talking with my husband about the special prayer time I had had just the day before about trusting God to care for our needs as He has promised.

This morning I went out to the garage to get the bin of newborn clothes and found another bin labeled "Winter 2010." (I know, it's not size specific--that was becoming too much of a headache for me. I just started sorting by season.) So I dragged that box in the house along with the newborn bin. I went through that winter box first and found quite a bit to fit my eighteen-month-old. Enough to meet what would be the bare minimum for necessity. Then I sorted through the newborn stash and made inventory of what I had for a winter baby from birth to six months. Even though this is my second winter baby, there still wasn't much. I really didn't have much for my second child--about 5 sleepers and a ton of onesies. I finished my inventory, set that box aside, and looked at the very small stack of items that I had set aside during this process to sell at the upcoming sale.

I then went to the garage one more time to grab the bin labeled "M2M - winter." The box of stuff to be sold at the sale. It was full of items that didn't sell last winter, and I was simply going to add my small stash of items I collected today to the bin of clothes. I dragged the bin into the house to make room for the handful of items. When I opened the lid I almost squealed in delight!

Until that moment I had forgotten how disappointed I'd been last winter sale when most of my items didn't sell. I was confused because it was decent stuff that I thought would sell for sure. But the sale was REALLY big that season, and it was hard to sort through the items because the racks were so overstuffed. So it was easy for items not to sell. Inside that bin was more than I need for my children for this winter! Including the new baby.

Well, praise the Lord, those items didn't sell. God knew that this winter we would need those clothes. He knew that we would have a new baby on the way and would need the newborn items I had tried to sell last year as an attempt to have money to spend at the sale last year. He knew that because of the new baby on the way we wouldn't be able to afford to buy anything at this current sale. He was providing for the needs of this year a year ago when He allowed my items not to sell!

Now all we really need for this winter are dresses, since my oldest only had one last year, and that's getting a little short, and shoes. And even in the shoes area, we may not need those. It just depends on how these little feet grow! There are a few other needs for the new baby, but very few. Most are just desires. :)

So now what was going to cost us too much, will now cost us very little, if anything at all. What a mighty God we serve!

Beautiful Babyhood

After the birth of my second child, I suffered greatly from post-partum depression (PPD). At the time I didn't realize that that was my problem. I was exhausted! I had an extremely active 20 month old and an extremely fussy newborn, and I was on my own two days after coming home from the hospital. I hated my life, I went through moments of wishing I didn't have my kids, I was convinced my husband hated me, and I felt that God didn't care too much for me either.

When my newborn was six weeks old I got a Moby wrap--that became a lifesaver! I could carry the crying infant any time she needed and still get things done around the home. Most importantly I felt like I could be a mommy to both of my kids at the same time, rather than just one at a time.

Well, that fussy infant reached a point somewhere near six months or so where she wasn't so fussy anymore. She became the sweetest, most pleasant baby anyone could imagine. She has been a great source of joy and entertainment in our home over the last year.

She has also been my baby. She doesn't seem as grown-up to me as her sister did at this age. She just seems like a baby still. Though she definitely has her moments of independence, she is very much a cuddler and loves to be near one of her parents. She says words, but she's not really what I would consider talking. She's not really potty training yet. Beyond those little milestones she still just seems like a little baby and not the big girl that she is quickly becoming.

Over the last few weeks I have felt like I have re-entered that post-partum depression (or perhaps a pre-partum depression?). A few weeks ago my little baby weaned herself from nursing. To some degree there was a bit of relief in this since, being four months pregnant, breastfeeding really wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world. But she had been much more of a comfort nurser than her sister had been. My oldest needed to be encouraged to nurse--she was always too much of a busy body to take time to stop and eat. But my second cares more about food than she does about anything else in life. If she was hungry, she wanted to nurse. If she was tired, she wanted to nurse. If she was hurt, she wanted to nurse. I knew my milk had changed back to colostrum, and eventually she went from nursing a few times a day and through the night, to nothing. I seriously went through a stage of mourning. This beautiful time of connecting with my child had come to an end. She suddenly became much more independent of me, and started to become as much of a Daddy's girl as her big sister.

Also in the last weeks she has gotten much better at doing things for herself. She can climb into her highchair, get herself into her car seat, and once the straps are over her shoulders, she can buckle herself in. She can undress herself, though she is not quite so good at the redressing part. :) She loves to wash her hands and brush her teeth. She enjoys independent play, and in the last few weeks she and her sister have gotten much better at playing together for LONG periods of time. These are tasks that I know I will great appreciate once the new baby comes, but did she have to do all of her growing up so fast?

To top it all off, last week she decided she didn't want to sleep in the crib anymore. For the last several days she has been sleeping in a toddler bed. I know it's really the same size as her crib, but somehow she just looks so small in that bed, but at the same time seems like such a big girl. She's been amazing about staying in the bed. We haven't had a single instance (yet) of her getting out of the bed. (Her sister had been much more difficult!)

I know I can mostly blame pregnancy hormones, but having my little baby be so grown up just makes me want to tear up and sniff a little bit. On some days it makes me want to just cry into a pillow. And any time she crawls up into my lap, I just hold on tight, knowing that these precious baby days will quickly pass, just as they did with her sister. Yes, there will soon be another precious bundle to hold, but I don't want to miss out on a moment with the sweet baby that I have right now.

"Boys will be boys." --Really?

I understand there is some truth to the phrase, "Boys will be boys." But I'm getting quite annoyed with the fact that often times mothers of boys seem to use this as some sort of excuse for bad behavior. I have only girls so far, so these words may come back to haunt me one day. But I really believe that it is possible to allow boys to be boys without allowing them to be rude and discourteous to others. My mother raised three girls, and thirteen years after the youngest girl was born my mother was very surprised to discover she was expecting again. This time a boy! My brother is now nearing eight years old, and is definitely a different challenge to my mother that we were as girls. I'm not arguing that there's something uniquely different about the way God designed boys and girls. My mother (as well as many other mothers of boys) has told me many times that you can't keep boys from playing with guns. They're just born with guns on their fingers. I can understand this. God made boys (men) to be protectors, and when a fight is necessary, men are who God designed to go to war. I haven't had the opportunity to be around my brother too much because of the great age difference between us (twenty years!). But I have been around him on a playground or when he's playing with friends, and while he thoroughly enjoys playing rough and playing war-like games with his playmates, I haven't witnessed him being rude to other kids on the playground. He is a very tender-hearted boy, so perhaps one could attribute his politeness to his personality, but I would like to credit it to the training of my mother. My daughter has almost decided she doesn't like play dates anymore because the boys are so rough. I have told her that boys are rough, and God made girls to be gentle and sweet. But when boys are shoving past girls and throwing them out of their way and stepping on them or over them in their attempt to keep up with their battle, that is no longer behavior that can be passed off with a simple, "Well, boys will be boys." No, that is simply rude and inconsiderate behavior. And when another child is asking those rough-housing boys to please leave them alone or to stop, those boys should be trained to be considerate enough to leave that playmate out of their rambunctious behavior. Today I watched one of those boys wrap his arm around my daughter's neck and get ready to body slam her to the ground, and I was greatly angered. A child should never be permitted to wrap his arms around another person neck and body slam them unless he is doing so under the supervision of a trainer in a martial arts program. And to a girl? What happened to training boys to be gentlemen?

As I said, I may one day end up eating my words. But I spoke of this with my husband, and he agrees that while boys will be boys, and boys will do boyish things, they can still be taught to respect others, to be polite, to be considerate, to be courteous, and to be mindful of the feelings of others around them. Boys should be gentleman in training. I'm in no way saying rob a young boy of his childhood and put him through rigorous manner courses. I am a firm believer of allowing children to be children and not forcing them to act like adults when they aren't adults. However, since every moment with a child is a moment of some type of training, there are ways to teach and encourage respectful behavior in young children without forcing or expecting them to be as adults. My 18-month-old is old enough to understand that she is not to hit or kick or bit or push another person. So I definitely believe that a two or three-year-old boy can understand that you treat girls differently than you treat boys. They can understand that boys, if permitted to hit other boys, do not hit girls (or push, or any of the other aforementioned actions). I hope that when I have a boy I can raise him to be a gentleman to young ladies, to be courteous to other kids in a play area, and to be respectful to the adults around him--and all of this without "robbing him of his man-hood" or "turning him into a sissy." I want my boy to be a boy, but not at the expense of others feelings and his own reputation and testimony.

Wordless Wednesday

Daddy's Little Girls!
My oldest decided she was going to work with Daddy today, so she went into his closet, picked out a shirt, and put it on. Naturally more of a Mommy's girl, my youngest picked out one of my shirts instead.

Aren't they cute?!

What Co-sleeping Isn't.

There is a billboard in our city with a picture of a female medical-examiner and the billboard states, "Don't let me be the last doctor to see your baby." The billboard goes on to point out the dangers of co-sleeping with your baby...never mind the dangers of trying to read their billboard while driving.

I think when people hear the term "co-sleeping" they conjure up an image of a queen-size bed with Daddy on one side, four kids in the middle, and Mommy on the other side. Or they picture a momma sleeping on her side in the bed with a precious newborn cradled in her arms up against her. While these do depict some forms of co-sleeping, this not necessarily what co-sleeping is.

I was at a SAHM playgroup today and was talking with some ladies. I knew to watch my step (and my mouth) because I'm on a very different parenting page than probably the majority of the ladies in the group. I'm a cloth-diapering, breastfeeding (demand feeding), non CIO (cry-it-out), co-sleeping, baby-wearing, attachment parenting, natural parenting, non-spanking momma, and let's just say that everyone I'm surrounded by is pretty much the opposite except for the breastfeeding, but most are not demand feeding. The topic of sleeping with baby was casually mentioned, and I could tell that everyone was in agreement that it was definitely wrong.

A momma mentioned that when her daughter was a newborn, grandma kept holding and rocking that sweet little baby, and momma wanted baby to be put down in a bed to sleep. Sadly, I was like that for the first week of my first daughter's life. "The book" (i.e. Babywise--who has many followers local to me) said to never hold your baby when they're sleeping--not even to put them to sleep. In an attempt to be a "good mom" I followed the book for the first week of my daughter's life. At the end of that first week I had a baby who screamed for 40 minutes waiting to eat and one that I had held only for feedings--just like the book says. I lost a whole week of enjoying many of the sweet and blessed moments of motherhood that I had so looked forward to. Devastated that I had allowed some man to steal those precious moments from me, I scrapped the book, picked my daughter up, fed her when she was hungry, held her when she wanted to be held, laid her on my chest to take naps, rocked her to sleep, and from that point on enjoyed every moment I could with my precious little baby. (And for the record, she learned to sleep through the night and in her own bed just fine!)

Okay, so I keep side-tracking. In response to this momma's comment I said that I sleep with my babies and enjoy those precious moments--you should have seen the looks I got! (Although everyone politely kept their mouths shut.)

So, I just want to clarify what co-sleeping is and what co-sleeping isn't. There are many definitions or concepts of co-sleeping. Yes, co-sleeping can be one big happy family sharing a bed together. Yes, co-sleeping can be a new momma sleeping in a bed with her little new born snuggled up next to her--let me tell you, that's a whole lot more comfortable that trying to get out of bed to feed a baby in the middle of the night when you have a bazillion stitches and hemorrhoids in your bottom! (TMI, I know. :)

But by definition, co-sleeping is a family sleeping closely together for the comfort and convenience of all involved in the family. This does not mean that everyone necessarily shares a bed. All of you who sleep with a cradle or bassinet in your room for those first weeks? You're technically co-sleeping!

No, in all honesty, I rarely sleep in the same bed as my kids because that is neither comfortable or convenient for me. I'm a super light sleeper, and to have my kids in my bed keeps me from falling into a deep enough sleep to get any rest. My oldest daughter moves to much, and I usually move to the couch when she climbs into our bed. :) With my little babies, I'm too nervous about them suffocating (because as a new momma, I'm too exhausted to be very alert when I fall asleep), that I end up not sleeping at all if the baby is in bed with me. I do keep the baby in a bassinet right up against the bed so I am close by. I also unashamedly love to take naps on the couch with that precious newborn laying on my chest--just the two of snoozing away together. What sweet moments! But if my kids need us in the middle of the night, our bed becomes their bed. And if our kids are sick, they usually end up in our bed because it's just easier to take care of them if they're right there.

I agree that co-sleeping, by what many think it to be, can be hazardous. As I mentioned, I know that as a new momma I'm too tired to be an alert sleeper in the bed, so I don't keep my little baby with me. However, some momma's sleep better with that baby right there, knowing that baby is safe.

Co-sleeping is a practice where the family sleeping arrangements help each member of the family to get the best night's rest without causing fear, discomfort, distrust, or feelings of abandonment on the child (CIO). We are here as parents, mom's especially, to be love and comfort for our children. Co-sleeping, for many moms, is a way to provide that for their children while also taking care of mommy's health and rest as well.

There Are Some Things Girls Just Know

Princess - I never taught my daughter what princesses (or princes) are. She hasn't seen any Disney, and overall, we've avoided fairy tales. For Christmas she got Disney princess panties from her grandmother, but that's about the extent of her exposure to princesses. Yet she still pretends to be a princess, and she calls Daddy her prince. And you're hard put to get her to wear any of the 30 pair of panties she has if it's not one of the 7 pair of princess panties!

Twirly dresses - I remember begging my mom for twirly dresses. My daughter doesn't quite beg for them (not yet anyway) but both girls love them. They somehow know when you put a certain dress on them that it's a good one for twirling around in. I never told my girls to spin around and watch their dress twirl. They just knew!

Tea Parties - My daughter also enjoys playing tea party. We've never really had one (although i plan to do one with her friends). She got a tea set for her birthday, and without me telling her what the function of each piece was, she laid out the tray, placed the cups and teapot on it, carried it to her table, and started pouring tea. It was like instinct!

Flirting - Even at 15 months old, my youngest one knows how to get what she wants out of people, and both girls know how to play their Daddy! They sidle up to you and give you a sheepish, coy smile, and sweetly say, "Pleeeeeease." No one needs to teach children (not really just girls I guess) how to be adorable beggars!

Modeling - Recently I went to take a picture of my three-year-old, and she put on this perfect Vogue stance with an air of dramatic flair and a saucy smile before I could snap her picture. I couldn't help but laugh at her. I have no idea where that came from! But it was cute!

Each of these things allude to the "frilly" nature of girls. A characteristic I wish to preserve in my daughter. I once use to think that I wasn't against feminine rights of equality and such. And while, to a certain degree, I'm not an anti-feminist, to another degree I am. Why should it be wrong for our girls to learn that it's right and natural for them to be and like frilly, dainty things? Why does society push princess objects at our kids when they're young, but then somewhere in the pre-teen years, you rip the fairy-tales away, throw them into reality, and tell them that girls aren't to be dainty and frilly, and if a man treats you like a "weaker vessel" than it's discrimination? Isn't that what you taught them through the years of sitting them down in from of Disney princess movies?

Just some controversial issue to tack onto the end of an otherwise nice post...leave it to me.