Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Off the Cuff - Tragedy in the Name of Discipline

This is tragic. I was just talking with my husband last evening about finding the balance in disciplining our girls. I know people who pride themselves on the fact that their children are literally afraid when they hear the word, "No." I'm not sure if they use the Pearl's methods or another method. But I remember thinking when I heard that, that such a fear could be hard on a child. I'm faulted for attributing adult emotions on a child. But really, I just think, "How would I feel if I were treated such a way?" Then I respond to those feelings when dealing with my children. Perhaps this is not the best method. But I know what it is to fear improper forms of discipline. I don't want my child to fear me. I may be too forgiving of my child. But I'd rather not discipline than discipline incorrectly. She's a good girl, and knows what it means to obey. So I've justified in my mind that I've still accomplished the goal, just by a different means. I don't whip my child, but I do spank her. There is no need to whip a child for something so simple as mispronouncing a word. That's not even cause for a spanking or harsh verbal correction. The child will learn. How sad it is that the children under the Pearl's method of training are well behaved, not because they respect the people around them, but because they fear being beaten for their behavior.

an open letter to my brothers and sisters in Christ who serve in leadership to homeschooling families:

An open letter to my brothers and sisters in Christ who serve in leadership to homeschooling families:

On February 6, 2010, Lydia Schatz, the seven year old homeschooled daughter of Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz, died after having been brutally beaten for mispronouncing a word while reading out loud to her mother. Butte County, California District Attorney, Mike Ramsey, reported that evidence shows the child was severely and repeatedly whipped, most likely for several hours, with a 15” piece of ¼” plumbing supply line, the same instrument that also left her older sister with severe kidney damage and in critical condition. The other seven Schatz children are now in foster homes, their parents having been charged with torture and murder.

While it might be comforting to believe that this is one horrific, isolated case of abusive behavior, the fact is that Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were Bible-believing Christians who welcomed not only their own children into their home but three adopted ones as well. Their friends reported how shocked they were to hear this story about parents whom they called “loving” and “warm” and children who were “polite and well-behaved,” words that could describe most homeschooling families.

But Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz were also devotees of the book To Train Up A Child and its authors, Michael and Debi Pearl, and they patterned their “discipline” methods after the Pearls’ instructions, down to the very instrument they used to beat their children.

This is not the first time a child has died at the hands of parents who embraced the teachings from TTUAC. In 2004, four year old Sean Paddock suffocated after his mother also beat him with ¼” plumbing supply line and then wrapped him tightly in a blanket to keep him from getting out of bed. She is now serving time in jail for first degree murder.

The killing of precious children in the name of “discipline” must stop and those of us who desire to come alongside and encourage homeschooling families must do all that we can to see that this sort of tragedy never happens again. I believe that the Pearls’ teachings on chastisement unto repentance, found in their books and magazines and on their website, is not just one among many approaches to disciplining children, but rather, is a form of child abuse and even one that is considered to be assault and battery of a child and punishable by law in many states.

As Christians, it is even more important to understand that the Pearls’ philosophy is based on the aberrant theology of “sinless perfection,” a perspective that leads to the notion that parents are able to change a child’s sinful heart and save a child’s soul. Here are some excerpts from TTUAC:

“The parent holds in his hand (in the form of a little switch) the power to absolve the child of guilt, cleanse his soul, instruct his spirit, strengthen his resolve, and give him a fresh start through a confidence that all indebtedness is paid.”

“The guilt burdened soul cries out for the lashes and nails of justice. Your child cannot yet understand that the Creator has been lashed and nailed in his place. Only the rod of correction can preserve his soul until the day of moral dawning.”

“Let the guilt come, and then, while they are yet too young to understand, absolve it by means of the rod. When their time comes, the principles of the cross will be easy to grasp.”

The Holy Word of God tells us that only by faith in the finished, atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross, an act of His mercy and grace, is a person saved. (“Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost.”~Titus 3:5) Physical chastisement by a parent cannot truly absolve a child of guilt nor can it cleanse his soul. To teach this and to lead any parent to think otherwise is promoting false doctrine and false hope in the works of man.

To that end, I would like to ask those who serve as homeschooling support group leaders and others who seek to serve within the homeschooling community to join the growing number of voices who are expressing their outrage and horror at the death of little Lydia Schatz and I would ask you to remove any recommendation of Michael and Debi Pearl’s teachings you have on your blogs or websites. Please stand with me and publicly say “This is wrong and it must stop.”

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” ~ Proverbs 31:8-9

By His grace,
Karen Campbell,
homeschooling mother and grandmother

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Catching up

Well, it's been a few days...and very long days at that! I've discovered that I've switched from thinking in Facebook-status lines to thinking in blog. Translation? It use to be when something would happen I thought, "I need to put that on my status." Now when something is on my mind I start thinking it out in paragraph form so I can blog about it!
Last night I went out for church volleyball. We didn't realize how late of a night it would be, so my husband and kids went with me. Poor babies...we didn't get done until 10pm. And my toddler didn't sleep in this morning. I had a good time--I could live and breathe volleyball. But I struggled with the feeling that I was being a bad mom. I take pride in the fact that I'm a mom first and everything else, including my social life, comes second. And last night I kept my kids up so that I could have a little bit of fun. The baby slept in her Moby, but the toddler just kept running around. She won't sleep if something is going on. In the future we'll know what time I'm playing, and the kids won't go if it's going to be a late night. I know it's suppose to be a church family league, but it doesn't seem to be designed for people with kids in mind. The games run pretty late at night.
Today we took my toddler for a checkup with the allergy specialist. They wanted to draw blood to see if her sensitivities have changed. Poor baby. They took three tubes of blood from her little arm. But she was brave and did very well. (Better than some adults I know.) So she got some dairy-free chocolate chips as a special treat. The doctor is anticipating her sensitivity to milk being lower, so we may be able to try adding some dairy to her diet in the near future! I got SO excited! That would mean being able to cook with sour cream, cream of mushroom soup, cream cheese, cheese, etc! We'll get the results in a few weeks.
Then I got to spend the whole day with my best friend and her two kids (who are the same ages as my kids). She live about eight hours away, but is in town for the week. So nice to be able to visit.
Now to bed. I'm SO tired, but just had to post something!