Friday, February 4, 2011

For the Love Of.....?

Is it for the love of self? For the love of sanity? For the love of one's status or image? Why

My kids have an amazing immunity, since we've only been to the doctor for illness maybe 4 times in the last three year between my two kids. But I still get so frustrated, even when the get just a sniffle, knowing that they picked that up from someone at church or at a birthday party. Because my kids aren't the only kids getting sick, and the other kids getting sick seem to have no immune system (presumably because they've been in day care since they were 6 weeks old and never had a chance to build an immune system!).

We use to go to a church where the pastor preached very, very strongly on being in church every time the doors were open. He actually said, on more than one occasion, that if you weren't there then you were obviously backsliding and needed to confess! The audacity! (He also preached very strongly on responding to the Lord at the alter. He said that if you hadn't been to the alter, then God wasn't working in your life, and you needed to restore that relationship. Again, the audacity!) Sadly, he was in a church of people who really didn't know any better. They listened to what he said, and took his word as Gospel...or possibly even higher than Gospel. Anyway, bunny trail. There were times that I would be in the nursery caring for a child who had been puking for the last two days...because she and her parent must be in church! Kids would be there all the time with green snot, boogery eyes, horrible coughs--and the adults weren't any better. Didn't these people have any common sense? How awful that rather than caring for their physical well being--and being concerned for the well being of others--they hauled themselves to church whether they had pink eye, the flu, stomach bug, or whatever. They probably thought that their illness was a result of their sin, and missing church would make it worse. Oh, and as a side note, if a mother just gave birth, even if it was on Monday, she should not be in church the following Sunday!

The church we go to now isn't so bad, at least the message isn't coming from the pulpit. Now we're in a "community" (as I often call it) where everyone works together, goes to church together, many live in the same neighborhood, and majority of the moms work. (I'll lay off the working mother at this point, as I'm currently working on a blog post about that.) So many parents have admitted that they wouldn't know what to do if they stayed home with their kid all day--it would drive them crazy! So, their kid gets sick. The school or daycare requires the parent to keep the child home, so the parent stays home. This drives the parent crazy, so even though the kid has been sick (say on Thursday and Friday), the snotty-nosed kid is still in church on Sunday, still feeling feverish. But while the church nursery has a rule book, it's not strongly enforced as with the daycare. Wouldn't it just make sense that if your child isn't permitted in the daycare, they shouldn't be at church (or birthday parties, or any other gathering?)

Birthday parties...there's a reason that term keeps popping up. Last weekend my daughter was invited to a three-year-olds birthday party (from 6-9pm...hello?). Earlier this week my daugher was running a decent fever and seemed kind of achy, almost like the flu--but that lasted only about 48hours or so. Throughout this week (thanks to Facebook) I've noticed that several of the other children who attended that party have been sick (and out of daycare) this week....coincidence? Nope! Thanks again to Facebook, I checked on a few of the families that were at the birthday party. The hostess had on her status that she had missed five days of work due to a long list of illnesses including flu and sinus infection. This was Thursday she had this post which mean that she missed last Friday--the day of the party. I realize that a lot of money, time, and work goes into planning a party, but is it really worth exposing the 30+ people that attended the party to such sickness?

I'm frustrated for all of the people who have been sick this week, because it is never fun to be sick, or to care for a sick child (or children). But this has especially affected my family this week because, although my daughter wasn't sick for long, her little friend was sick all week. Her little friend's daddy works with my husband. The mother was unable to stay of work this week (don't know why, because I know the school she teaches at provides substitutes!) so her husband stayed home all week (and consequently, now he is sick, too.) This means that my husband put in a lot of extra hard work and hours this week to pick up the slack, and hasn't been around for my daughter. This is the third week in a row my husband has put in over 60 hours, and my little Daddy's-girl is really feeling it. She has literally cried non-stop for the last four days, except for when Daddy is home. So, although she can't tell me what is wrong and why she is crying, it's obvious to me that she needs her Daddy.

All of this frustration for myself, my husband, and the parents who missed work this week to care for their sick children, could have been spared if only someone had been willing to just post-pone a birthday party!
would someone go somewhere, taking their kids with them, when they or their child is sick? I just don't get it!

1 comment:

  1. So sorry, Laurie. :( I am so saddened when others do this, too. For Thanksgiving, a relative brought her VERY sick little girl to our house, because family time "more important." They said they would keep her away from everyone, but they ended up getting so distracted with a game that I ended up holding her part of the time and she also played with my girls. (But really, I felt very sorry for her, because if nothing else she should have been kept home for her, the baby's, sake. :( ) Of course, we all got sick and our girls had it the worst. I can definitely relate. Those times are the hardest, when you know "who" "caused" the sickness of your child, and then to see your child suffer...and then to try to love them both.

    And I have a very much Daddy's little girl, too. It's hard when he's not around and able to be with her, which thankfully is rare for us. Our 3-yo was a very emotional girl when her Daddy was out of town for 5 days, though.

    Wish you were closer! I'd love to have playdates together. :)